Disneyland

Alright, now that we got all those gross feels out of the way, we can talk about the rest of my Disneyland trip, which was thoroughly enjoyable. This was the first year I've seen the new Buena Vista St and Carsland all trussed up in holiday spirit and it was thoroughly enjoyable.

It was packed. The wait times were out of control, so I'm glad we'd all been there before and were okay with taking it easy. I nabbed a sour cream, bacon, and chive potato and shared with my niece which was delicious. We snagged our way onto Haunted Mansion, her favorite, Pirates, where my necklace was commented on, and Thunder Mountain, a fast ride, before we hit the parade and ice cream for the kids. Then it was Astro Blasters, where I got demolished by everyone, including the five year old, so obviously my gun wasn't working. We nipped over to the other park for a few rides and watched World of Color which, as always, was gorgeous.

My first day I totally overdid it by only having a milkshake and cotton candy for dinner, mixed with 98% of my brother's mojito, which he took one sip of and didn't like (in fact, the majority of the trip continued in this fashion before he realized he should just drink beer.) The resulting sugar crash mixed with carrying around my two year old nephew in heels and dancing with him on my hip at the Mad T Party was hilarious/ridiculous as I stood on the bus and had to keep my balance on the way back to the hotel over speed bumps and with abrupt stops.

Alice :D

The second day started off at the Ghirardelli shop, with chocolate filled croissants and a white chocolate mocha :) Healthy? No. Delicious? Yes. After having my picture taken with all my chocolate and being hounded by a very gay lady castmember who wanted a piece of my croissant and also loved my necklace, we were off to Carsland for the day. Thank god we are all funny or we would have been so bored in line for two hours. Some ice cream and cold water later and I've got a kid on my hip eating string cheese between rides like California Screaming and Tower of Terror, and then night fell and I took over as babysitter and went cavorting through Bugsland before making our way back over to the Mad T Party where I had a very nice conversation with Alice, who also liked my necklace, and serenaded us with a great version of No Doubt's "I'm Just a Girl."

The Tweedles

"Dee" and "Dum" then commented on my "hoodlum" nephew and posed with him while a flamingo peckishly photobombed behind. We made our way back over to Tomorrowland for some fun rides where my niece got creeped on by an adult male and my nephew fell in love with Princess Leia, and we watched the fireworks on Main St.




At this point my brother's family was tired, so they left and I stayed behind to enjoy life's little pleasures. A jalepeno-cheese pretzel, single rider lines, the Casey Jr Circus train at night, talking to cast members and getting free things :)

View from the top floor

The next morning I woke up with a sore throat, lounged around in bed, said goodbye to my brother and fam, and then drove home - where I found out yesterday that I have strep throat. Remember all that food/drink I shared?

Oh crap.

Gay Talks/Tues Tunes

So, everyone is either listing out 2012 or making out what 2013 is going to be, but I don't want to do that. I can choose a new outlook and attitude at anytime, and a calendar year isn't going to motivate or stop me :P

Lately it's been music, music, music, in my conversations with various people and I love it. I'm getting nostalgic about the mass produced synthetic pop from the 90's that I so dearly miss. Last night I was slipped a TLC line "don't want no scrubs," and I finished the rest of the song in my head.



I remember that song was on a burned cd of mine with some Britney Spears music that never got popular. Actually, I listened to Britney Spears a lot, and as a result, my singing impression of her early years is pretty stellar and hilarious.



I remember my brother buying me a little red MP3 player which required Musicmatch Jukebox (remember that, you guys?) and I played t.A.T.u. constantly. Blame it on my fascination with all things Russian or whatever for having the album in both languages, but I wish someone had noticed that I was a glued to a music video with girls kissing and singing about wanting to be together.



In fact, I wish someone had put together a lot of the pieces and sat me down to talk when I was fourteen. I wish someone had asked me about the way my Snow White barbie made out with all the others and touched their breasts, the half-naked Christina Aguilera posters, the t.A.T.u music videos, the lesbian pornography, the makeshift sex drawer, the things my boyfriends would have to say to me to get me in the right frame of mind to do anything, the way I panted after this sarcastic, bitchy, emo, 50s housewife looking lesbian in high school and called her by a different name just so I knew it was something only I got to call her (and she let me, and she didn't put up with anything, which meant she liked me and that meant the world).

When I look back, it's so obvious, so why didn't I realize it, and why didn't anyone else? I guess it's too late and in the past. I know who I am now, so I shouldn't let it bother me.

Note: All those bad 90s fashions and wet schoolgirl uniforms are still so in. Good choice, ladies. I approve.

Music/Events

When I got my hair cut a few days ago I bought a new product to put in it and the kids I work with have noticed. "Your hair smells good!" "Your hair smells like apples!" "Your hair smells like cotton candy!"

"It doesn't smell like cotton candy!" I laugh.

"It could," he reminds me helpfully. I'll keep it in mind.

It's one of those days where the chill nips in through my wool coat, and instead of talking about the slut-shaming unattractively going on across the interwebs, the abhorrent feelings I have for our government's inadequacy to reach a decision and wasting time, energy, and resources while holding items hostage essential to the middle and lower classes, or the deep feelings of despair and anxiety for the rape culture we have created and perpetuate every day, even in lesbian subculture, through billboards and social media and have the world wake up to it through the eyes of India, and yet it still goes unseen - I'm just going to tell you what's been playing on repeat on my iPod for the past week.


Just look at that Drummer! (swooning a little)

Orgasms/Twitter

For an account which started out so anonymously, you all know much about me. We've talked about this before, and recently. I spoke how I wanted to take some of that "anonymous" feeling back - feeling more bold, daring, fun.

I must admit, Twitter got the better of me tonight - has gotten the better of me over the last week or so - has had me posting like all those years ago when I was truly anonymous. And here we're going to get back to what I was posting about so long ago: Sex/Orgasms. Since I've come back to this blog, a few months ago, I've avoided the overtly sexual topics which I used to thrive on in the past.

For whatever reason, this week was bad. I mean constantly aching, edge of your seat, hair's breadth away from climaxing, bad. All week. I couldn't make it go away. I'd have an orgasm and the feeling would come back five minutes later. It was heaven the first day, hell the rest. It was distracting, it drove me crazy. My dreams were erotic, my every thought somehow twisted and turned because my body was so close. A hand on my hip could make me whimper, a look could make me tremble.

This week's stories on Rainbow Sprinkles were all driven by this week's dreams -by my constant state of whatever-it-was and you can tell. Well, not with Maroon just yet, but you wait and see ;) Finally, by some Christmas miracle, I was able to have a shaking, wrenching orgasm in the early morning hours and it eased. It was just my normal always-ready-for-sex and not the extremely-sensitive-going-crazy sensations. The peace lasted a few hours, and then I was back to watching porn Christmas afternoon and talking about my bedroom preferences on Twitter.

My sex drive has been higher than normal the past few days and Twitter took full advantage of that tonight. What started off as playful banter eased into sexual banter, actual productive sexual conversation (which I love!), flirting, and outrageous behavior on my part.

Am I embarrassed with my behavior? A little. I have to remind myself that twitter is not private and these people who feel like friends are actually virtual strangers (the term "catfished" comes to mind) but I also enjoy giving people the benefit of the doubt and they all seem very lesbian to me. Am I turned on? Yes. Because, let's be honest, I don't have a girlfriend right now, and talking about sex is beautiful and glorious and something I desperately need.

I'm not ashamed to talk about what I like or what I need. I'm not ashamed to talk about how I like to be touched or what turns me on. And hopefully you can find comfort, confidence, glory enough in your sexual self that you aren't ashamed either.

Tuesday Tunes

So, I was hemming my sweater this morning (I know, you guys) and of course needed some music to sew by. So here are some Tuesday Tunes maybe you haven't been introduced to but should be.

No Doubt's new CD "Push and Shove"
This is classic, feel good No Doubt, sounding very much like Tragic Kingdom, so I was super excited. And um, Gwen, the baby thing done you good.


 Mumford and Sons- I Will Wait
I have to sing this song every time it comes on in the car. I haven't sat down and picked apart the lyrics but it sounds sweet, and I want to learn the banjo so I can play stuff like this.


And, of course, Rise Against, who I've talked about before and are one of my favorite bands. I love the anti-bullying message they were going for. If you watch it all the way through it doesn't end on a downer note.


Just to fill you with happiness, who remembers this gem from Team Gina?

Sundays

Sometimes I wish I had a cat, just because I think I would feel guiltier if it stared at me while I ate my piece of leftover pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Because I don't have any pets, I was left to eat my pie in peace. Curse you non-existent cat!

Tomorrow begins the cycle of the two jobs again, and it's going to be crazier than ever. The holiday season is beefing up my hours (and my paycheck) but the juggling I'm required to do to get it all done is going to turn me into an acrobat. Maybe I can audition for Cirque du Soleil in January and quit this whole two jobs thing. I'm kidding.

Favorite part about Sundays: Donuts!! Fresh donuts! Secret tip: If you're going to buy donuts, always buy them on a Sunday, because unless you have really bad taste in donuts, they always run out on Saturday which means you a guaranteed not to get a day-old donut on Sunday. You're welcome.

Other favorite part about Sundays: Really gay movies on Netflix. Occasionally I'll get a few hours on a weekend and I like to gay it up, whether I'm fixated on Once Upon a Time, reading a new book, knocking down my Netflix instant queue, or swooning over hot ladies gracing the television screen.

Speaking of gay, but also not, I want to see the new Les Mis movie so badly! Every time I see/hear/read more about it my musical theater degree wrapped heart thumps louder and I feel so ashamed I was not a part of it. I mean, a piano in my ear as I sing on camera? Who came up with that and why didn't we do it ten years ago so we could've avoided the disaster that was Mamma Mia? Love you guys, really. Who else wants to see Les Mis?

Day 25 Paine

30 Day Letter Challenge

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Washington Crossing the Delaware

I can't read that without hearing, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," which then brings me to Thomas Paine's famous quote, "These are the times that try men's souls."  Here comes the rant.

Look, there are millions, if not billions, of people who are going through the worst of times. People on the east coast are trying to recover from Sandy, as well as the people in Haiti. Gaza and Israel are attacking each other again. Winter is setting in and freezing the far north. People around the world are homeless, people are sick, people are without clean water, without ample food.

So, I'm not going to talk about my aunt's weird emotional breakdown or my grandma facing my grandfather's birthday and the anniversary of her daughter's death all in one month, or my best friend trying to recover from surgery and feeling isolated from the world. Instead I want us to think about the world and what we're doing to help or hurt. A whole bunch of idiots are signing petitions to try and secede their states from the US. Our country is divided and we need to bridge the gap. This is not the time to rub noses in the dirt, or to withdraw and lick wounds and find a way to avoid those who "won." There was no winning or losing. There were two paths as to how the US was going to travel into the future, and the residents of our nation picked the trail we will traverse, together. Step up and find a way to make it all work. Bipartisanship.

Also from Thomas Paine's The Crisis, "America did not, nor does not want force; but she wanted a proper application of that force. Wisdom is not the purchase of a day, and it is no wonder that we should err at the first setting off."  It's been over two hundred years since those words were penned, and while our country is still in its infancy compared to the ancient nations of the world, we should have learned more than this. This is pride and humiliation sabotaging the efforts to build a greater country. Our nation made a choice. You've had your tantrums, now stand up and be productive.

Day 16 Driving Lessons

30 Day Letter Challenge
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

This one is boring and vague so I'm boycotting. I know I'm technically off by one day, but I'll try to post later "today" to make it up. The reason I'm off is because I went to go visit the BFF! The drive takes many hours (as all drives do in California) which prompted the real idea for this post.

How to Drive Like a Californian - a humorous but not entirely advisable take from an actual Californian's point of view.
I take no responsibility for anyone who actually follows this post as real driving guidelines.

1. Whatever the speed limit is on a freeway, that's not what you're supposed to be going. The courtesy is 4-8 miles over. Any more than that and you're dangerous and attract attention, any less than that and you're holding the rest of us up, babe.

2. Right turn on red. If you sit there through an entire red light and you have an opening to turn and don't take it, someone behind you will honk and it will scare the hell out of you and you will spill coffee all over your nice shirt and your day will suck. If you get this rule down, CA drivers will love you.

3. Some of our more rural freeways and roads require you to play chicken with oncoming traffic in order to pass. This is legal only when the center line is dotted. I'm very good at this game - the goal is to pass the car in front of you without crashing. Play it safe.

4. Don't buy a jeep. People in jeeps can't remember how to get out of the fast lane when they are going slower than the person coming up behind them. Remember how to get out of the fast lane when other people are faster than you. The fast lane is the left one.

5. If you're having a time accelerating to the appropriate 77 mph on a 70 mph freeway, turn off the overdrive on your automatic transmission vehicle. If you're in a manual, learn how to drive stick better.

6. When a cop pulls out behind you, do not go five-ten miles under the speed limit. You will just piss the nice copper off, bottleneck traffic, and then get pulled over and questioned for being old/stoned/illegal. You don't want any of that.

7. Ask people nicely, aloud, to move out of your way and they probably will. If they don't, then it's okay to mutter bad things. But remember, if you start with negative carma, the only person negatively affected is you.

8. If it rains, freak out like the world is ending. Once you can do this you will be a true California driver. 

:)

Visits

As you may know, I've been visiting with my best friend who is very liberal, socially progressive, tolerant - the first person who told me it was okay when I came out. And she's not voting Obama. In fact, she's not voting at all.

I already voted and I believe it's a secret ballot and I'm not going to tell you in detail what I did and didn't vote for, but it's pretty obvious I'm pro-Obama and at the very least anti-Romney and completely terrified of what will happen if he becomes the president. So, urging people to vote on the candidate of their choice has been fairly important to me. I never talked to her about it, never pushed her because she is so smart and I just assumed it was a no brainer. Of course if you're an informed citizen you would vote, right?

Apparently, wrong. It's hard for me to comprehend. Especially since so many of the people I follow on twitter are zealous about voting and knowing the issues. Social media caused me to be very well informed as I cast my ballot this year. I just can't believe that bright, informed people in demographics where rights and privileges are at stake would sit this one out.

Good Lookin' Wednesday

Have you ever seen the movie House Bunny? If you haven't, you should make a point to. It has some of my favorite actresses, including Anna Faris, Emma Stone, Kat Dennings, and a hysterically funny ensemble.

Anyway, there's a speech Anna Faris gives (spoiler) about how she is allergic to Azithromycin. She takes it anyway because the allergic reaction makes her flushed and beautiful and there's a whole lot more that proves a point in the movie.

Anyway, all day yesterday I felt awful because of my spider bite. But, despite the bone and muscle pain, my skin was glowingly fabulous. The swollen, puffy effect was beautiful, like botox! I've never thought about plastic surgery or injections before, but the effect was amazing. I didn't look tired or sad or stressed, I just looked happy and well.

Would I ever surgically enhance myself? I don't know :/ It seems like a lot of work and pain and recovery for not that much improvement. I'm not really big on pain and needles and surgery.

But at least I looked pretty on Halloween.

Day 9 Redux Nefertiti

30 Day Letter Challenge

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

There are a lot of someones I wish I could meet. Everyone from Michelle Obama to Tina Fey to Charles Xavier or Albus Dumbledore (yeah, I'm a nerd, leave me alone).

I wish I could meet Nefertiti. She still reigns as the most beautiful woman of all time and she lived thousands of years ago. Aphrodite's statues have worn and don't hold the same power and sway as they used to among the world population. But the bust of Nefertiti is still as regal and mysterious as ever, as famous or more as Mona Lisa's smile.

She raised herself up as a goddess among her people, she took unprecedented power, ruling as the Great Royal Wife but with status almost as a co-regent. She helped cause a religious uprising, shifting Egypt from a polytheistic religion to the worship of one deity, Aten, the sun god. She built a new city from the ground up and plastered herself across it. These images lasted thousands of years, and we know her history easily from all inscriptions she had of herself and her family carved into the walls.

About her reign there is little mystery. Before she became a royal wife and after her husband died is not as well documented, but we know much about the time between. The only things unknown are her motives. What could possibly have caused her to uproot her people and move them into a new city in the desert? Why would she have gone against the laws of Ma'at and destroyed her own religion? What was in it for her?

She intrigues me, delights me, terrifies me. I wish I could meet her if only to figure out what was going on in her mind.

-T

Interesting note: Of the 42 principles of Ma'at, my favorite is I have made none to weep.

Other translations have it written as "I will not cause the shedding of tears" but I don't think the wording is as cool. Can you imagine if we lived in a world where one of the religious promises was "I have made none to weep?"

Steam

This is playing in my head on repeat. I can only imagine what dreams it will bring.





Update: Dreams get so slutty sometimes. It's not exactly rare for me to have sexy dreams, but it's not common. So, last night I knew, I could just feel it before I slipped off that my state of mind was in that place. You know the place I'm talking about - the place where you ache to touch and be touched, to breathe against skin and feel wrapped in heat.

So the dream came as no surprise, but the setting shocked the hell out of me. Remember in Day 2 when I mentioned I've been having marrying/being married dreams? This was one of those. It feels strangely private even though I don't really know this girl and it didn't even happen in real life.

We were in our apartment, it was definitely our apartment, it felt warm, comfortable, lived in, and she was getting ready to leave. She looked wonderful, jeans and boots, and I felt uncomfortable next to her in my too glam for me dress.

"Hey," I stopped her from leaving with a hand on her arm. God, she was warm, so warm, and my legs were freezing. I wanted to curl into her. "It's your bachlorette party and I want you to have fun and everything," I smiled, stroking the soft skin below her neck, "but if you sleep with someone else the night before our wedding I will kick your ass, got it?"

She grinned and leaned in for a kiss. I let her take me, desperate, fearful, joyous, triumphant, wanting. "You got it," she promised, and reached for the door. I pushed her back and she let me, surprised. I took her mouth and felt her moan rumble through my chest. I reached for her hand and led her fingers up my bare leg to my waist and she pushed harder against me. I popped open the button on her jeans and she pulled away, breathless, "What are you doing?"

I knew we both had to leave, but I couldn't stop now. I slipped to the floor and touched my lips to the skin of her hip, took a few breaths to make sure either of us could stop this if we wanted to - if we were really worried about time or other people. I could feel her shake against me as the warm air passed over her flesh. "Reminding you just what you're coming home to," my lips curved against her skin, and when our eyes met it was electric.

TeganAndSara

If you follow me on twitter, you know I have a great love for the ABC hit show #Nashville.They cover some beautiful songs on that show, and it has struck such a chord in me that I dragged my guitar out of its dusty corner.

I haven't played the guitar in months. Almost four months, actually, so when I picked up my trusty Layla today (when I was a kid I thought the song Lola, by the Kinks L-O-L-A Lola was L-A-Y-L-A Layla and it was my favorite song), I expected certain things to come back. Maybe the last song I learned to play or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

What came rushing back instead was the first song I ever learned to play - the whole reason I bought my guitar in the first place. Every card carrying lesbian worth her weight in vinyl albums released in the 2000s  knows the lyrics to this song:


What a weird thing to come back to me. It doesn't apply to my life anymore, so I guess it's time to practice and learn a new song :)

Also, this makes me remember when I looked to Tegan and Sara for hair advice. Never again.

Rise of the Redhead

Marilyn Monroe courtesy of Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Remember when blondes used to have more fun? It seemed like every movie star was dying her hair blonde and magazine covers all had blondes splashed across them. Now, while there is more diversity encouraged among actresses, singers, and models, a special jewel seems to have emerged at the top.

The redhead.

Dyed redheads are super popular too, but the natural redhead remains the most coveted of all. Why the sudden fascination? Why are women scrambling to buy red dye from a box or a salon? Is it a feeling of empowerment and bold sexuality that accompanies the color? Or is it something else?

Few people who are not naturally red or strawberry blonde can pull off the switch to a red color. I dyed my hair a nice, vibrant mahogany-ish color once when I was 12. With my Mediterranean/Native American tanned complexion (though I am not Mediterranean and not very Native American) it looked FABULOUS on me. Just kidding, it looked awful. I won't ever do it again, I promise.

Karen Gillan, a stunningly lovely natural ginger

Both of my grandmothers had red hair and my mother has lovely jade green eyes (but brown hair) and I always feel like I missed out on the DNA lotto. My sisters managed to snag her eyes but my brothers and I were left out. I've cherished her green eyes for years, but no amount of wishing has ever lightened my eyes or made them magically turn green.

I do wonder if our sudden fascination has anything to do with the Harry Potter culture-the red hair and green eyes that were so special and cherished in the storyline that wound its way through a generation of new, young readers. These readers have grown up and started what seems to be an "invasion" of British-isms. These are a generation of people who enjoy British television, books, music, talk radio, colloquialisms, and fashion. If we idolize the minds and words of those across the pond, why not their looks?

My ultimate badass crush- Michelle Rodriguez

Most of the world has brown eyes and brown hair, traits which are beautiful in their own right- but it seems like not many people are happy with what they have, and are constantly reaching to change themselves into something more "special and unique." I'm not saying that I fall on the outside. I love being "special," being noticed. But I'm not a redhead- I don't have green eyes. Sometimes you just gotta let DNA do its thing.

In the meantime I'm lucky in that I'm a gay lady and enjoy looking at pretty girls who are special and unique.

Aishwarya Rai- one of the most beautiful women in the world, and Jamie Chung- current TV love who is heating it up on ABC's Once Upon A Time

Kerry Washington is lighting up DC with her gorgeous face in Scandal and just try to tell me you're not in love with Grace Park, a smokin' hot lady you might recognize from Hawaii Five-O

ABC's Nashville LadyCrush- Connie Britton Along with my favorite smiling girl TaySwift

I will stand under your Umbrella.

Hot Vampire Girls/Forbidden Fruit

Twilight has brought up many different feelings for me. I've enjoyed the books, the premise, and the general idea of vampires. However, I would never enjoy fantasizing about a vampire girlfriend for myself, and I've tried, just to figure out if I could.

I think part of it is that I was raised in such a catholic home, that a piece of the forbidden fruit is appealing. Taboos are arousing when they are just that: a taboo. I love gay male porn, I love people who are not good for me, I love bad girls, I love women in general(which that relationship in itself is forbidden). But put two of those together (e.g. woman who is bad for me+lesbian relationship) and it's too much forbidden stuff. I do actually want a happy ending, and compiling too many odds against you is just asking for heartbreak.

So, immortal girl+wants to eat me+lesbian relationship+can't get married in my state+socially not accepted+can't go out in daylight= Not a relationship I want to be a part of.

Does anyone else have a resounding "no" in their head when they think about hot vampire girls?