Jan 4, 2013

Gross Feelings

Premium fireworks view: armchair, footstool and music!
Gross! What are all these maternal feelings? Disneyland was a blast, of course, with my brother, his wife, and their 3 children- 12, 5, and 2.

My niece is very theatrical and loves to sing, hum, whistle, dance- you name it, she does it. It's very entertaining in line. We stood in line for a ride and an older boy (somewhere between 17-24) started to talk with her, flirt with her. She's almost as tall as me, and as it was nearing the end of the night, she had put her Minnie Mouse ears in my hair, making her look older than she seemed before, more like a teenager. He was downright creepy in his advances and it didn't stop once he learned she was 12, and finally we all stopped in line to do one thing or another and pushed her to the head of our group, effectively cutting off their communication.  The Minnie Mouse ears went back in immediately.

My older nephew is a crack up! He's in love with Princess Leia and likes to make everyone laugh because that means fun is being had. My younger nephew? He took to me like Sam took to green eggs and ham. I'm not sure if he remembered me from this past summer of if I remind him of his mom and dad, but he would not let go. My arms are sore from dancing with him and carrying him around the park. He shares my fascination for the stars and started break dancing (spinning on his head and all) at the Mad T Party at California Adventure.
I think my nephew would have more fun in a club than teenagers and 20-somethings

The 5yo. He likes to wear his hat backward :)
I work with kids constantly, and I love what I do, but I don't ever feel this tugging in the pit of my stomach. Maybe because most kids whine all the time, maybe because those kids view me in a workplace environment/relationship, maybe because my brother's kids look like little carbon copies of me- but there it was. That little knife twist as I held my five year old nephew in the last ten minutes of the hour line. As he brushed my hair out of my face so gently and said "There you go!" like he knew it had been bugging me - kissed my cheek, grinned like a devil, and then pulled it back out from both sides and over my eyes like a blindfold and yelled "Can you see me now?!" and started cracking up like I couldn't feel him in my arms.

It was there as I held him in the crowded square, with the fake snow falling around us, the last sparks of fireworks fading into the dark sky. It was there as he caught a fake flake and tapped it on my nose, in the awe of his smile, the gleam in his eye, the shared laughter between us and his sister. 
Post snow  - Merry Christmas from Disneyland!
There is a piece of my life that I may or may not ever get - watching the fireworks and laughing with my wife and child, the awe of raising such a gorgeous creature together and shaping him or her to be a playful, compassionate individual. Of course, I am twenty *mumblewumble* years old, so I have plenty of time before this ever becomes a problem, and having or not having kids is not a deal breaker for me. It was just a moment, an exquisite moment, bonding with a loving, awed boy over a shared experience, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

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