Dec 7, 2009


I sprayed her perfume on my pillow. My mother used to spray lavender on my pillow before bed to help me sleep during the years that I had horrible night terrors. Of course it never worked, and now I have an aversion toward the scent.

Last night I had a nightmare, and the only scent that has nothing but good memories attached to it is the smell of her perfume. Maybe that makes me creepy, but I just want to have good dreams tonight.

The only problem is that now my bed smells like her. Her scent is intoxicating, inebriating. It clouds my judgment until I can think of nothing but her and the time I spent with her in her apartment. She'd never been in my bed. There was no reason for it to smell like her. But now it does, and I am stuck drinking her in. It's like sweet torture.

Maybe it's not as creepy because she is not my ex, she is attracted to girls, and she does know I am interested in her and is possibly interested in me. Or maybe I am only justifying this for myself.

If you would have dreamed the nightmare I had last night, you would understand my desperation for a change in environment.

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