Dec 19, 2012


Crushing is hard for everybody, but I think crushing is especially hard for lesbians. I see this on Sasha's site over at CCL all the time, where girls are constantly asking for advice on how they know if another girl likes them back. Girls are damn flirty creatures. Myself included. I love to flirt. I flirt with girls, I flirt with boys, I flirt with babies and bunnies and unicorns and Albus Dumbledore. Okay? I'm a flirt.

But when it comes to crushing on someone? It's so hard. I practically clam up. My physical and mental ability to flirt dies and leaves me alone muttering something unintelligible about tamales, and I've got nothing intelligent or witty. I understand that the only way to figure out if a girl is a lesbian/interested in you is just to ask, but I'm afraid of the asking the silence that follows.

You know the one I mean - the two hours of your day that used to be filled with talking to her, that are now empty. The endless minutes, the sparks of thought and conversation that you want to share with that one person who you know will get it - but wait, it's radio silence from her end. Because those words, "I like you," "I'm attracted to you," "I'm crushing on you," "my feelings for you extend beyond a platonic friendship," all seem to spell sudden death for my friendships with girls. And rather than push for a relationship, I'd rather at least have someone to talk to.

Not that it ends that way every time. If I have a pretty clear signal I'll go for it, but most of the time I can't be the person who says it first. Because I'll be honest: I'm afraid I'm going to be left alone, pining, with an outstretched hand and an empty text message inbox, and I know I'm not the only one. So when there's two of us who feel this way about each other, who the hell plucks up the courage to make the first move, or are we just tunnel-o-love boats that pass in the night?

Note: lesbissues (lez-bee-issues) is my new favorite term. Put that right at the top with mo' homo.


  1. The last girl I had a crush on returned teh feelings, strung me along for 3 years and then broke my heart. So, my crushing will remain unrequited and from a distance ...for now.

    1. I totally know how that goes. My first experience with a girl shaped a lot of how I act/react with/to girls, so if you've read/reading my first girl story this will make a lot of sense to you. Unrequited crushing is very familiar territory for me :) (If you want the password send me a quick email with "password"!)

  2. Like you I'm very flirtatious. However I've always gone right from one relationship to the other so I never had to worry about "crushing" on the wrong girl. Now that I've recently entered the dating game I've met all my dates through lesbian places.
    However I'm a very forward person and have no problem making the first move to someone I'm attracted to. The worst that happens is they're not interested. There are plenty of other hotties out there :) Kara XO

    1. I think that's the problem. I get too attached before I make the move and then the stakes are too high. The "there's more fish in the sea" saying goes away because I've become so invested in the girl.

      I'm a flirt with everyone and then super shy when it counts. Talk about an oxymoron. :P